I have been in a sort of transition lately, maybe it’s just the middle of the year approaching blues.
Sometimes you all of a sudden realize that certain things you thought you wanted or needed you don’t want or need anymore. I’m growing out of certain mindsets and emotional crutches. We live in a society where all day long we proclaim self love and rant and rave on how much we love ourselves and preach we are becoming the best versions of ourselves…“for ourselves” we say. I can’t help but to think it’s kind of bullshit. We are all seeking validation from someone on some level even if it is the smallest amount, a crumb even. I’m no different. I am constantly spewing to others and myself how I am so in love with who I am and yeah on some days it’s absolutely true and on others it is so far from the truth, it’s a lie. It’s all in the pain of growing…growing pains aren’t just about a number and/or getting older, it’s about a feeling. Growing from one emotional state to another. It is uncomfortable to evolve, elevate, figure out how to consistently love yourself even when you aren’t all shiny and pretty even when you’re a mess. I’m not sure if humans ever truly stop seeking validation on some level- I hope to become that enlightened someday and I have started doing the work, I am up for the challenge.
I have been more laser focused on who I am and who/what resonates for me on a soul level. Listening to my soul more, not my head or even my heart that much. We are all souls in a body- this amazing body we refer to as our temple yet still it’s just a shell. Flesh. Our body is not who we are, our soul is…our body is a vessel to help our soul shine through.
I love Tarot cards and believe in the magic they possess and often give myself readings throughout the day and just the other morning I pulled the Chariot card and it is all about how we must learn to be in command of our emotions and not allow them to rule our life. How we must understand that we are a soul with a body, not a body with a soul. How fucking ironic! I have been on this new path and then BOOM! confirmation. I love when that happens, when the universe throws you a sign out of the sky.