Photo: Hammersmith, London, 1970s
I was supposed to go to London in late March and then Covid 19 happened, FUNNNN!
To say I was looking forward to my trip would be an understatement, I was counting down the days. I was dreaming in a British fucking accent! I was mentally putting outfits together, my style aesthetic is a bit 70’s London. I was visualizing how I was going to wear my curly fro huge on some days and then do cute twists others. I was telling all of my clients and co workers about my upcoming trip (I am a Facialist/Esthetician) I had one client buy me an expensive bottle of wine after his appointment with me along with the cutest note attached telling me to have a wonderful trip- he lived in London briefly and was thrilled for me. I love London even though I have never been before and everyone, everyone said that I would love it and that I would have the best time, that I was made for London. I knew they were all right, I am British somewhere in my soul, also coincidentally the first time one of my essays was ever published in print; was in a London magazine: Sunday Girl. The British get me.
I also just was excited to get out of America for a little while and to travel finally! See some shit. I don’t think it should come as a surprise that I crave traveling and adventure- people that love connecting with others and with nature have a yearning for travel in a profound way. I always envied people who could just pack up and go, just a plane ticket and a cary on. I can’t. I truthfully am more uptight than I come off. I am in a constant battle with myself, one minute I am as carefree as they come and the next I am completely stiff and structured. That is one of the things I have been working on during this down time actually, staying consistent with all of my personality traits- finding that balance. Realizing that yes, I am a fully grown adult with responsibilities so structure is needed but I also am a spontaneous free minded individual. I have been encouraging myself to let my carefree side take the lead more.
Anyways, back to my London trip! I had impulsively one morning in between clients bought myself a roundtrip flight and booked a 5 star hotel stay ( i’m fancy) and made myself an eclectic itinerary from visiting my man Jimi Hendrix’s flat on Brook street in Mayfair to a facial appointment with London based celebrity Esthetician Sarah Chapman and an afternoon tea date with my fellow writer friend Lauren, who I was so excited to hang out with and talk about all things Gilmore Girls ( we share a deep love for GG, sorry not sorry). I was going to see a show the night I landed at the famous music venue Omeara- this folky singer/songwriter based in the UK that I found online and really liked was headlining. I had plans maybe to meet a cute guy or girl at the show or at a pub at some point during my visit and have a lil bit of a makeout sesh (I said that in my best British accent btw). Well, none of it happened but I did get an apartment around the same time I was supposed to be leaving for London so in retrospect it worked out for the best because I was feeling a lot overwhelmed with moving into my first very own place and also preparing to leave the country for the first time. I will make it to London one day in the near future, I will travel everywhere I have always wanted to experience. In time. Simply, there are things out of our control, most things are. I just want to make sure that when this is all over I can say with certainty… I have changed for the better and I am more carefree without forcing it. That trip signified me letting my carefree spirit take the lead because I booked it on a whim so once it was cancelled I felt defeated in some ways. It was still good practice. I just want to be all of the things I have been to afraid to be. I seem comfortable in my own skin but I actually am not that fucking comfy, but I am working on it, like really working on it and i’m getting better.
In time and with a little effort all things are possible.
-Fallon
I feel the same. London me soon come.