I ordered a pink wig for 40 bucks on Amazon
and it has changed my life forever. I always wanted to see what pink hair would look like on my complexion and it looks amazing! the only downfall about buying this glorious wig is that I am sad every time I put her on or take her off because I am reminded that my hair doesn’t actually grow out of my scalp pink. Such is life.
I got a glimpse of what it might feel like to be a cougar aka what my future might be like.
I slept with someone half my age last year, relax he was over 18! And could legally drink. He was 22, a musician (like a real one…he might be famous one day) and gorgeous. I haven’t really dated or hooked up with younger guys before, it just hasn’t been my thing. For friendship it’s a different story, I have a bunch of younger female and male friends, I love having friends that are a little younger than me. I will never forget my vibrant, fun, & always eccentric Grandma Joyce who in her 70’s had friends in their early 40’s and 50’s. I remember asking her why she didn’t hang out with women her own age and she said without taking a beat “because they act old.” touché.
Although not typical behavior for me…being involved sexually with someone half my age made me feel younger, more free, more beautiful. He actually said “you're so beautiful” while I moved my hips back and forth on top of him- I shied away from his compliment on my beauty by saying “omg no way.” and removing one of my hands from his golden chest and hiding my face - he replied “ you don’t think you are, but you are.” I was blown away that someone so much younger saw right through my insecurities and lack of self esteem. Maybe growing older doesn’t always guarantee gaining confidence. It made me question how deep the lack of self esteem I truly had resonated. I carried on. We had sex twice that night. The second time happened about an hour after the first (perk of being with a young dude I suppose) - he kissed me sweetly and to my absolute shock he asked between kisses “do you love me? tell me you love me.” I literally almost choked! my mind started racing: wtfffff NOOO, of course not…this is my third time hanging out with you, you are insane! Hesitantly, I played along and blurted out: “i love you” he looked down at me, his eyes sharp and bright, he started thrusting a little harder and with more passion. It wasn’t long until he climaxed from our I love yous back and forth. I realized in that moment he was insecure too, just in a different way- he wanted love, he needed love…needed to hear it, to believe it, he got off on it (literally) maybe he never felt it before or he had and missed it…missed being in love…missed making love.
His reasons for using “love” as an aphrodisiac will always be a little unclear but what is clear is that we both were looking for something that night, possibly our whole lives
-Fallon