Greetings from my dining room table and office!
I hope you are doing well and things are looking up, whatever your things may be, we all have em.
That time of the year is quickly approaching…my birthday (July 8th and in lieu of gifts share your favorite Silhouette post on your IG story/page or twitter lol)
My Birthday is always an unusual time for me, okay wait I take that back not always but these past few birthdays have been challenging to say the least. But last year I had a birthday dinner with a few of my girlfriends that was super cute and fun and I also was taken out for birthday drinks by a guy I really liked the night before. At midnight we took whisky shots while hugged up tightly by the candle lit bar as I brought in another year and continued my journey around the sun.
Getting older in general is honestly weird for me, it makes me a little uneasy. I definitely don’t feel like I am in my 30’s on most days…hell if ever! Strangers assume I am in my early 20’s and are shocked when I tell them I am in fact in my 30’s. I grew up with a mother who while absolutely incredible (and the best mom ever) is a bit of an ageist. I would watch her freak out about her age constantly and worry about getting older. My mom thankfully is much more relaxed about getting older nowadays but it definitely is still a work in progress. As a result I grew up with this false narrative that getting older is something to worry about and I constantly have to stop myself from getting bogged down by my age. For a lot of us with each year of growing older also comes this judgement from within about where you are at in your life for your age and what you lack. Society of course doesn’t help this narrative one bit. The whole “you have to have a family by 30” thing is ridiculous to me but even I fell victim to that idea. The night before I turned 30 I laid in bed thinking holy shit, I am single with no marriage proposal or pregnant belly in sight, my life is shit and I should probably just end it now. Once 30 I quickly realized my life wasn’t over, in fact it had only just begun.
I hope to start wearing my age like a badge of honor soon, I have been through a lot of shit and I have painfully and proudly earned every fucking one of these years. Also, if you told me I could go back to my 20’s tomorrow I would say absolutely not, they were wild and amazing but so so so complicated. I am grateful that I have so many life experiences to continue to look forward to, I have always been a late bloomer.
I embrace getting older and looking 20 forever (I honestly probably will, don’t hate appreciate) Once you hit 40 is when the fun will really start I have been told and I’m actually kind of excited for my 40’s, how bat shit crazy am I??! I’m like a crying mess with every year that I go deeper into my 30’s but yet being 40 excites me.
Totally relate to feeling like you’re behind the curve with not being married or pregnant by a certain age. Once I step away from FB and IG I get back to reality and realize that’s not my path and not what I need or want just yet. Another great post love 💗
Oh wow! I struggle with the age thing and the criticism for others is so annoying. I will let you know about those 40’s!!